Celebrating Lammas

Posted on August 1, 2023 by Ann Lovejoy
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Bounty by the bowlful on Lammas

An Ancient Harvest Day

As local gardens brim over and fresh produce is everywhere I look, I’m thinking about the ancient tradition of Lammas. Halfway between the Summer Solstice and the Autumn Equinox, Lammas marked the beginning of the harvest that would tide people over through the winter. It seems strange to think about winter in August, but my daughter and I are looking forward to winter as never before, hoping it will mark a time of healing and a return to wholeness for both of us. Next week we will go to Seattle for tests to determine whether my daughter can be safely sewn back together, eliminating the need for the ostomy bag. Though another surgery will of course require another time of healing and recover, it will almost certainly be far less fraught than the last one. By now, we both feel like we have the skills to meet whatever the normal consequences of such a surgery might require.

It’s oddly disconcerting to consider what a future without pain and awkward, frequent inconvenience might look like for my daughter. She’ll once again be able to navigate things she had lost the ability to handle over the long years of illness, as we both saw with great pleasure over her recent recovery. The horrible setback of recent weeks has not been pleasant but it has shown us that we work well together even under duress and that she has not been held back by it in any but physical ways. She is thinking deeply about her future in ways she hasn’t bothered to for a long time, since she wasn’t so sure she would actually have one. Now she knows she will, she wants to shape her life differently, and that will take some new thinking.

Choosing What’s Next

Looking ahead this way, I’m realizing that I too will have some re-thinking to do while transitioning from being a caregiver to simply being in charge of my own life again. I remember after my parents and my husband had all died, I would suddenly feel uneasy at times, with a mild panic, as if I had left my purse at home. Without the constant anchor of being needed, I felt weirdly untethered. This time, I’m looking forward to being able to do more of what I want to do, from gardening and singing to knitting and sewing and finally making that quilt I’ve been planning for years. Ok, decades. Heaven knows I’ve got enough fabulous fabric in my stash to make ten quilts. Hmmm, now there’s an idea…

In recent conversations with a young(er) friend, I was reminded of an intriguing practice. Whenever we come to the end of a chapter, before we walk into the next one, it’s valuable to choose a theme for whatever comes next. Last time I did this, almost ten years ago now, I chose satisfaction and contentment, things I had not experienced much of. That combination was actually quite pleasant to work towards and I succeeded in becoming far more comfortable with both those sensations. After a day or two, my friend reported back that she has chosen to guide her next chapter through connection and balance. I love that combination, and though I feel pretty solid on the connection part, balance is definitely a concept to live into. To partner it, I’m thinking about harmony. Or maybe kindness. Hmmm again.

Onward Indeed

My underlying goal is to open up my life again without falling back into hyper-responsibility. Since childhood, I’ve tended to accumulate responsibilities, accepting a new set of tasks even before I’ve finished whatever I’ve been working on at the moment. It becomes a never-ending cycle of must-do work without a lot of space for want-to activities. Obviously it worked for me or I wouldn’t have kept on doing it for so long.

Now, however, something has changed within me. Getting to NO and staying there is easier than ever, especially with the unarguable reason; I’m a full time caregiver. When I’m not that anymore, I want to hang on to that inner permission to NOT do things just because I don’t want to do them. Why not give someone else a turn? On some level, I think I’ve been trying to earn the air I breathe. It will be good to learn to breathe for free. Right? Onward!

Posted in Care & Feeding, fall/winter crops, Health & Wellbeing, Nutrition, Sustainable Gardening, Sustainable Living | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Natural Magic

Posted on July 24, 2023 by Ann Lovejoy
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Finding magic is a garden gift

In Search Of Gratitude

This morning, the sky is grey, the air is full of gentle, misty drizzle and I am grateful. As I walked around town doing errands, I overheard people grousing about the weather (“It’s ruining my holiday!”) and thought, oh sister, in global terms, this is Eden. The PNW has the best climate on the planet these days and I for one am deeply appreciative. In my neck of the woods, we are running dry early after a very dry winter and spring. Since January 1, we’ve only had two days with more than an inch of rain, and we’re getting wildfire readiness alerts about a month ahead of usual. So far, we’ve been very fortunate to be smoke free when so many other places are burning. It’s likely only a matter of time before it’s our turn to experience the hell of horrible air quality again so I’m being consciously grateful for every clear day.

I’ve been practicing gratitude a lot lately, especially after a chat with my wonderful (young!) new doctor. Doctor Tzou is a skilled listener and an acute observer and I can’t get away with returning equivocal answers to questions like, “how anxious would you say you are these days?” We had a good conversation about anxiety and stress and she gently suggested that I keep daily notes about mood and feelings and what triggers anxiety. Oh ugh. But yes, so fine. Not too surprisingly, my daughter’s suffering is right up there; she’s been changing from a powerful, effective medication that isn’t safe for long term use to a biological one that will hopefully control her psoriasis longer term. She was warned that there might be a gap in protection during the shift and sure enough, just as her skin had almost entirely cleared up, the painful rash and peeling blisters surged back. When it reached her torso, sometimes the skin has been peeling so fast that the ostomy bag falls off, skin and all.

Finding Inner Gratitude Outside

It’s not easy to find peace and gratitude in these difficult times, especially when someone in your daily life is experiencing acute pain and grief. The most effective way I’ve found to keep from sliding down the slippery path to sorrowful despair is by going outside. I learned this a long time ago and I’m grateful(!) that I haven’t totally forgotten the lesson. Many years ago, my dear Jungian therapist pointed out that I am very skillful with catastrophic expectations. He challenged me to stop myself when I start dreaming into trouble and instead, dream up three (!) anastrophic possible outcomes. That was SO HARD and it really took a lot of work but eventually I got the hang of it. However, as life events crowded around again I slipped back into my lifelong, unhealthy habit until my AlAnon sponsor called out my remarkable talent for dreaming up disasters. Martha said, “You are PRACTICING being negative and you don’t need the practice, so stop it right now. I want you to come up with ten things you are grateful for every day. Ten times a day, and all different!”

Ack! But ok. I dutifully started noting down ten things I was grateful for, ten times a day. To do it, I soon realized that I had to go outside, in more ways than one. As long as I stayed in my head, it was impossible to see past my own well trained scenarios of doom and failure. As long as I stayed in my house, at my desk, in my room, my disaster dreaming snuck into everything I did. When I went outside and actively paid attention to anything that wasn’t ME, everything changed. I could hear birds, bees, frogs, and wind in the trees. I could see flowers, birds, cats, small dogs, children, awesome clouds, the moon, rain sparkling on leaves and in spiderwebs.

Oh, Woops But Thank You

Back then, I carried file cards in my purse and pocket and car to capture ideas and thoughts for my writing work, so every day I took ten cards with me and ten times a day, I found ten things that I could truly feel grateful for. All different, right? Given my state of anxious depression, that took some doing but nature and gardens have magical healing powers that can comfort even the grumpiest grump. When I met with Martha a week later, I proudly handed her my stack of cards with 700 gratitudes, all different. She looked astounded and said, “Oh, woops, I just meant ten a day.”

It still makes me smile when I remember the stricken look on her face but over time, it became obvious that doing the work so intensely over that week had actually created a new neural pathway in my brain. That was well over 20 years ago and I can’t say that I don’t still slip into doom-gloom because I do. However, I’m much better at catching myself and I still lean into the file card system if I need to. And even as I watch my daughter struggling just to be in this weary world, I also see my grandkids and other kids making imaginative use of natural materials, in the garden, in the woods, at the beach. They know how to access that natural magic without being told and the products of their pleasure can ease the hearts of everyone who passes by. Onward, right?

Posted in Birds In The Garden, Care & Feeding, Climate Change, Crafting With Children, Gardening With Children, Health & Wellbeing, Sustainable Gardening, Sustainable Living, Teaching Gardening | Tagged , | 6 Comments

The right bowl of fruit

Posted on July 10, 2023 by Ann Lovejoy
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For whatever reason I couldn’t load this image before but this is the one I wanted you all to see. Tempting, right?

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Bindweed For Berry Preserving

Posted on July 10, 2023 by Ann Lovejoy
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Peaches and nectarines are fabulous flavor bombs right now

Fresh Fruit Season Is Sumptuous

This week, the markets are full of fresh, local fruit, including flats of beautiful Tayberries that work beautifully in salads or smoothies. Long and plump, these elegant, dusky red berries were bred in Scotland, a cross between a red raspberry and a blackberry. A bit less tangy than raspberries, they have the smooth savor of blackberries. They have to be hand picked because they don’t slip off the canes as easily as their raspberry parent, instead clinging to their cores the way blackberries do. This means they aren’t a common commercial crop, but someone is surely doing a fine job of both growing and picking them around here. If I ever reclaim my bindweed filled back garden, I’m planning to grow some Tayberries in a trough to keep their rambunctiousness in check.

I’m also planning to grow a couple of new-to-me kinds of raspberries, including Cascade Delight, with big, flavorful fruit, and Tulameen, with the best flavor of any I’ve tried so far. All my scrappy old plants are doomed after tasting how much better newer varieties can be. Poor old things! Raspberries are among my favorite fruit, as are nectarines, and the two together are pure magic. Add in a little minced mint or basil and you have a tantalizing tart-sweet mixture that’s perfect just as it is. With the addition of a little vanilla yogurt and homemade granola rich with pecans and walnuts, this concoction becomes my ideal summer dish, as satisfying as a light evening meal as for breakfast or lunch. I especially enjoy the combination of raspberries, nectarines, and mint with a splash of Nectarine Vanilla Bean vinegar. Bliss!!!

Nectarine Heaven

This easy fruit vinegar is amazingly delicious on cooked beets. It’s also fabulous in dressings for salads green or fruity, and makes a lovely shrub when mixed with sparkling water. It’s even intriguingly yummy drizzled over vanilla ice cream. Or maybe that’s just me

Nectarine Vanilla Bean Vinegar

2 cups finely chopped ripe nectarines (2 or 3)
1 vanilla bean, lightly split lengthwise
2 cups cider vinegar
1/3 cup water
1/4 cup sugar or honey

Combine all ingredients and bring to a boil over medium high heat. Reduce heat to medium low, cover pan and simmer for 5 minutes. Remove from heat and let stand, covered, for 5 minutes. Pour into a clean jar, cover and let cool to room temperature, then refrigerate overnight or up to 36 hours. Strain into a clean bowl through a fine sieve or several layers of muslin cheesecloth until dripping stops. (Use the fruit in yogurt or a quick cobbler). Pour liquid into a clean bottle, seal and store in the refrigerator for up to 3 months. Add the well-rinsed vanilla bean to the bottle if you want to emphasize the flavor. Makes about 2-1/2 cups.

How Bindweed Can Help (!?!)

Years ago, a friend told me an amazing story about a time when she was helping an elder with her large, fruitful garden. The aging garden was getting overgrown and becoming too much for the equally aging gardener to keep properly. My friend was trying to bring the garden into order, not to manicure anything but simply make it all more manageable. One area that seemed a likely place to start was a lush raspberry patch, full of healthy, vigorous plants but also totally infested with bindweed. My friend spent hours carefully removing every scrap of bindweed from between the canes and getting as much of the roots out as possible without disturbing the berry plants. When she proudly showed off her work to the gardener, the woman looked carefully at the berry patch then said, “I imagine that you think you’ve done me a favor.”

A bit stunned, my friend asked her what she meant. As it turned out, the gardener had been losing most of her fruit to the birds. She discovered that when bindweed covered the fruit canes, the birds didn’t see the ripening fruit and she was able to harvest quarts of berries, enough for jam and pies and filling the freezer. I was reminded of this story recently when I thrashed my way into my tiny but overgrown backyard. It’s been gently going to the wild ever since a major electrical project left it difficult to access and now it’s exactly like that elderly gardener’s berry patch. The good news is that, like her, I have been happily harvesting raspberries by the quart, untouched by birds or raccoons. Onward, right?

 

Posted in Birds In The Garden, Care & Feeding, Growing Berry Crops, Health & Wellbeing, Plant Partnerships, Sustainable Gardening, Sustainable Living, Teaching Gardening, Vegan Recipes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment